What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

TEXT:

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why did my ex move on so quickly?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Make Nazis afraid again!

How would you respond to Rep. Nancy Mace's claim that the GOP platform is more in line with what the American people want compared to the left?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What are some signs he is deeply in love with you?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What are my 10 favorite rock record album opening tracks?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why do I feel worthless most of the time?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority